


Delusion (Is Not So Sweet)

by Aurrus



Series: Lie (Is Everything We've Done) [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, FrostIron - Freeform, M/M, OOC (most likely), loki is an asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-03
Updated: 2013-05-03
Packaged: 2017-12-10 07:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/783633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurrus/pseuds/Aurrus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing is, Tony and Loki are – were? – a thing. </p>
<p>And obviously, Loki has never even considered telling Tony that he had a wife waiting for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Delusion (Is Not So Sweet)

Thor stops in the middle of the battle as if something has changed and just sighs tiredly.

“Enough, brother,” he says softly – and, surprisingly, Loki stops as well, just freezing a few people who immediately rush for him. “It’s time to go home.”

Tony drops on the earth beside him and lifts his faceplate, bewildered.

“Uh, Thor, do you really think –”

And then there are these words, when Thor doesn’t even as much as acknowledge his presence –

“Your wife asked me to tell you that even the remarkable patience of hers knows its limits.”

_“Wife?”_ Tony hisses, not trusting his ears. “Wife as in – as in, his ex-wife?”

Because the thing is – the thing is that he and Loki are – were? – a _thing_. Or, rather, they fuck – on several occasions even made love, or so Tony thought at those moments, and then there were a few night overs and even a few _dates_ , and – and Loki has never even _mentioned_ that he had a wife. Tony had no illusions of what Loki was – a _liar_ – or what their relationship was, but he had at least expected that much of him. It’s not that he had never slept with married people, after all – he just preferred to know of the fact _before_ hand.

Of course, this _thing_ between them is twisted – it was a secret until it wasn’t anymore, and then it was a scandal until it, too, didn’t subside eventually with everybody coming to terms with Tony fucking Loki when they weren’t fighting. 

Then there were jokes – the kind of ‘Keep an eye on your boyfriend, Stark’ and ‘Couldn’t you satisfy him better so that he spends more time in bed and less time bothering us?’. Tony liked the jokes, he really did, even if he has never called Loki his _boyfriend_.

At least he has never called Loki his boyfriend aloud.

“No,” Loki murmurs softly, frowning and coming closer. “As in my dearest wife who has, indeed, been waiting for me for far too long yet again, it seems.”

Thor looks relieved – but Tony is far from anything like relief.

Tony feels shuttered, in fact – more than he has any right to.

“Come again, Reindeer Games, how is that I only learn of your wife _now?”_

Loki frowns and looks at him, puzzled.

“Why should it matter?”

And that’s it.

“Thor, would you… Give us a minute? ” Tony grits his teeth, trying to stay as calm as possible.

Obviously, Thor understands, because he obediently walks away, giving them some privacy – and to think of it, what has he to fear? Loki has already agreed to finally stop pulling his shit, to– to return to–

“You know, telling me you are fucking _married_ would have actually been nice,” Tony hisses, furiously ripping his earpiece and tossing it on the ground.

Loki just watches him, unamused.

“Why should it matter?” he repeats himself. Tony gapes at him – the bastard has the guts to stand here and tell him it _didn’t matter_ –

“Well, maybe because that’s how you do –” Do what? Relationship? It’s not like _the thing_ is something serious, not something to be called ‘relationship’, except it is, Tony wants to cry out, it _is_ , it _means_ something, at least for him – it does, it really, really does, much more than it should, so much more than he’s ever wanted. 

“Do what?” Loki asks curiously, and this doesn’t sound like a lie or a mock, it sounds like a generous puzzlement, like he really doesn’t understand, but wants to try to.

Bastard.

“Do… you know… all this shit together,” Tony explains – the word ‘explain’ is too strong for his mumblings, but at least that’s what he intends to do, so screw it – and huffs an angry breath. “Sleeping together, going out together, that sort of shit.”

“Oh,” Loki says, face suddenly going blank, and then, “I believe Thor had a similar… problem with his Jane Fosters.”

Okay, so maybe Tony _does_ sound like a pissed out girl who has just learned of her boyfriend’s cheating on her (except he’s actually cheating _with_ her, to keep with a metaphor), and maybe he perfectly understands the comparison, too, so he’s already disgusted with himself beyond measure, and Loki’s words only make him fume with rage.

“I’m _not_ your Jane, never was, never will be,” he hisses. He seems to do it a lot at the moment. Hissing seems to soothe his burning tongue, aching to say something stupid – even more stupid than he’s already said. “So kindly refrain –”

“She became rather fond of him, too,” Loki continues, ignoring him completely. “And he had a hard time explaining to her that he had a wife to return to as well.”

It should be a surprise that Thor is married, too – but Tony can’t care less. Besides, Loki doesn’t even give him time to process the new information.

“I thought this matter wouldn’t arise in our case, but I was mistaken, as it seems.”

“I’m not fond of you, fucker,” Tony grunts, looking daggers at him. “I’m just… surprised, okay?”

Loki blinks once, and then there’s a familiar swirl of light. When Tony is able to see again, they are in his living room, and his suit is already removed and folded into a case that stands near the sofa. 

“Sit down,” Loki says uncharacteristically softly, pushing on his shoulders. Tony has no other option than to comply, still glaring at Loki. “For once, please, do try to use that outstanding brain of yours and try to understand me, Star— _Tony_.”

The ‘please’ and the use of his first name makes Tony close his mouth before he starts objecting again. He’s not stupid – he knows he’s being irrational, but he’s just so _angry_ , and he is – he is fucking jealous, okay? He can admit his weaknesses when it’s important.

Unfortunately, it also equals with ‘too late’.

So he just sits there and listens.

“I’m flattered,” Loki says, with just a little hint of irony in his voice, “that you find the idea of being with me so… attractive. However,” with that his brows pinch a little, and Tony can swear he sees a pity on Loki’s face, “this whole ordeal was just about sex.”

“Sex,” Tony repeats slowly.

“Yes.”

“And the dates, and…” he stops before he can escalate further, because, obviously, it can _always_ get worse, and maybe, just maybe, he didn’t make himself a complete fool yet, but he’s close. 

“It was an entertainment,” Loki graciously rolls his shoulder, and Tony gulps, for the first time realizing that soon _this_ won’t be his – that this has never been his in the fist place, and now he won’t even be able to see it – and it suddenly hurts like hell. 

“Sigyn and I – we were married for centuries, Tony,” Loki explains, and there is an unfamiliar fondness in his face, in his eyes that soften at the corners just that little bit, in his voice – and Tony hates him for that, hates him for never having spoken about _Tony_ in the same way. “Surely you must understand that eventually we bore each other.”

“So… just sex.”

“Yes. Just sex.”

“You know,” Tony snorts, sneering, “it wasn’t even a good sex. I happen to have had much more passionate and creative lovers.”

Only he didn’t, but that’s not what he wants Loki to know.

Loki just shrugs.

“So have I,” he answers, and, well, maybe Tony should’ve kept his mouth shut, because that is definitely not something _he_ wanted to know. “I’m sorry to hear it wasn’t good enough for you, but at least you wouldn’t have to endure it anymore. As for me… It was sufficient.”

Yes, definitely not something he wanted to hear as a last goodbye.

“Why?”

Loki quizzically raises an eyebrow when Tony blurts out the question.

“Excuse me?”

“Why me, then?” and maybe this is one of the most stupid questions one can ask, but he’s desperate here, he doesn’t want Loki to leave, to disappear into thin air without as much as a proper goodbye (he’s not that naïve to wait for an apology).

It’s also not a question he wants to ask – what he wants to know is, why start something and then leave, only Loki has already answered that one. Because he was bored. Because Tony was _convenient_.

Loki’s face softens a tad bit, and he steps closer to Tony, cupping his face.

“Don’t,” he says gently, running his fingers over Tony’s cheeks. “You know it couldn’t last.”

“Why not?” Tony pushes his hands away and scowls at him, frustration and anger clear on his face. “Apart from you being married, because that one I actually didn’t know.”

“Because you’re a man,” Loki frowns, too, confused, and Tony just gapes at him.

“Never thought you to be homophobic,” he huffs at last, and he’s too surprised to be angry or even hurt now.

Loki shakes his head.

“Of course I’m not,” he winces. “It’s not uncommon to find pleasure with both genders in Asgard, but regardless of what your myths say, one can only have family with a woman. Surely you can’t expect someone to spend the rest of his days with a man,” he adds.

Tony laughs bitterly. Loki is possibly the only one he could have ever thought about spending his life with, so –

“No,” he agrees. “It’s hard for me to imagine spending the rest of my life with anybody at all, man or woman, stuck with the same face for long, boring years, so no – I expect nothing.”

He wants these words to be cruel – wants them to _hurt_ , but instead he sees only relief on Loki’s face.

“You are but a child comparing with us,” he smiles, and Tony wants to punch that smile from his face – punch it hard, because he can’t kiss it away and will never be able to.

“Didn’t stop you from sleeping with me,” Tony grunts and petulantly turns away from him. He feels stupid. He probably is – sitting here, whining about Loki leaving him – how is it even him? Tony Stark doesn’t whine, Tony Stark doesn’t beg, Tony Stark doesn’t seek for relationships and neither Tony Stark needs a god of mischief in his life. Absolutely not.

Only maybe, just maybe, he does. Not needs per se, but – he wants. And he always gets what he wants, so no surprise he’s so disappointed now. There’s still a question why he wants Loki in the first place, but he leaves it for a time being.

“You may be mature for your race,” Loki comments softly and smirks a little, because they both know, hell, _everyone_ knows that Tony is not, if anything, he’s an overgrown child, and not only by Asgard’s rates. “But your soul is still too young. You’ll understand later, maybe.”

“Let’s not go further, the last thing I want to hear from your mouth is ‘You’ll find somebody who’s good for you’,” Tony interrupts him with distaste, looking strictly at the window and not seeing, and Loki lets out a small laugh at that.

He smiles fondly at Tony, then, and as a last caress his fingers brush Tony’s lips.

“Goodbye, Tony,” he whispers, and still Tony won’t look at him.

And then Loki is just gone.

Tony hates him, a little. It’s all he can do now, after all.

It’s not that he had ever felt any other way.

It’s not that it could’ve changed anything.

But Loki is gone for good, and he is left behind, merely a toy for a god’s holidays, so he only lets himself a moment to come back to his senses, pinches the bridge of his nose and wills himself to forget all at once.

Somewhere outside, a burst of colors and lights explodes, taking two gods to another world.

“Goodbye,” Tony whispers to no one, and his voice is strangely rough.

He only hopes they would never meet again.

As he quickly walks to his workshop, he thinks that the worst thing is that his hopes would probably come true.

**Author's Note:**

> I swear, I'm not usually into angst, but somehow this turned out pretty sad (for me, at least). 
> 
> I also have an idea for a side-story; in fact, this fic has three possible outcomes - either it stays stand-alone one-shot, or it gets a side-story which actually makes it a little bit more angsty. But then there's a third option - it may develop into a series at least of three with further fluffy plot. I'm not sure which option I'd follow, but if you're interested in any of them, I'd be glad to hear your opinion!


End file.
